Changing, time is time.
(Changes in reveal)

December 31 2oo6

Last day.
I have only hours left now.
Beginnings are just as easy, just as hard as endings. Depends what it is. Depends on the overlap and how one chooses to react, respond. How do you deal with it? Growing up has taught me to do it alone, and I won't let it fuck me up. Well, at least I try hard. Time has shown me just how inevitable change is. Yet it constantly reminds me that some changes are only desired and may never come to fruition. I've discovered that these unattainable changes are the most painful. They linger the longest. It is by wading in these dreams that I have opened the rawest parts of myself. Here I see the pieces of myself that are undeniably, purely the essence of who I am. It is where my values, my love, my hate and my passion are birthed.
The evil.
The beauty.
The truth.
Experience has taught me that a chosen change won't reveal itself to be right or wrong until after it has become irreversible.

Unwelcome

The sun didn’t know it would rise to such a day. I didn’t know I’d see so much light through the clouds. Yet I don’t feel it is bright for me.

I’d paint it with black.
I’d pull streaks of ash up to the stars.
My face a shade of Mars.
A fine brush to knock down the walls.
A thinner one to hold the roof in teeter.
There is color in my eyes.
Silence helps it drip to my fingers and off.
Red as oil.
Blue smoke darker then a lake and settling in the lowest just the same.
A cover to hide the pitching flames.
Devour the grass where my feet are planted firmly in pigment from my eyes.

The sun had no idea. We would have never known.